Everything I knew about my life changed

Everything I knew about my life changed

This picture was taken 6 months before my husband was killed and everything I knew about my life changed.

In the span between one sunset and one sunrise I went from a concerned but hopeful wife as mom to a widow faced not only with my own fear, pain, anger, and devastation but tasked with nurturing and leading these four beautiful souls through theirs.

I was isolated.

I was terrified.

I was handed a weight I didn’t know how to carry.

I fell a lot.

I cried and struggled and wanted to give up.

I almost did give up.

But my love for these boys and the incredible spirit and support of people all over this country helped me get up over and over.

They help me still.

While most families were rushing to be together after 9/11, my husband rushed to join others at Ground Zero and I managed with a newborn and two toddlers.

While other families enjoyed summers together my husband left for months of training and I ran my career, the house, and cared for our 4 little children on my own- with his voice in the phone as backup and the belief this struggle would be temporary.

The it became permanent and I somehow figured it out.

When you’ve been through your own version of hell you are better prepared to adapt and overcome to even the craziest of times- like now.

I saw the beauty of Americans and my own self discovery of strength once. I know those both exist still and I love seeing stories creep out about people helping people.

If you have a story- please let me know!

— Barb Allen

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